The Cookie - Finding Happiness! Fagetabout 'em!

Hi there, hot stuff!  I hope you are having a superspecial day! Let’s make it even better by learning about happiness.

 Happiness has nothing to do with the rain that seems like it will never go away, the yapping Chihuahua next-door or the luxury Hawaiian vacation planned for next month. It doesn’t have anything to do with what you look like, where you live, what type of career you have or the amount of moolah in thee wallet.

HAPPINESS COMES FROM WITHIN.

My most favorite movie of all time is called ‘Life Is Beautiful’.  It is about a father who was able to shield his son from the horrors of a concentration camp. He told his son that they were going on a grand adventure and that if they followed all of the rules of the game, they would win a tank.

The son played the game happily and never knew that he was actually in a very dangerous situation.

That is a very extreme example of a simple way to happiness.

YOU CAN THINK YOUR WAY INTO BLISS

Now, I know that many of you are now saying to yourselves, “Ugh. And I thought she was actually going to teach me something. Trying to be positive doesn’t work when you are as stressed out as I am.”

Well, I hear you. It sounds too easy! But wait – give me a few more minutes of your valuable time and I will tell you how to do this.

Thank you for staying!

No matter what happens in life, we actually have the opportunity to choose how to interpret it. For example, I recently lost a job and I was devastated. However, there was a voice inside of me who kept whispering, “This is good! I didn’t want to spend my life at that job anyway.”

 I always dreaded going in and I didn’t know how I was going to make it, day in and day out, for the next twenty years.

But, I shushed the voice away. It didn’t understand that I now had no way to pay my bills. That now I didn’t know how I would take care of my children.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh but……………………………………………………………………………………………

Since then, I have been working with a life coach and doing lots of research about happiness. And now I know that my inner voice was absolutely correct!  I wasn’t happy at that job and losing it was just the blessing I needed.  Yes, I still need to find a way to earn money. Yes, it will be an uncomfortable situation for a while. But, change is uncomfortable. And that is not a bad thing!  A bad thing is living the life you don’t want to live.

We tend to do things and even think things because that is what we were raised to do and think. We don’t know another way. But, actually we do! We all have an inner voice. It goes along with intuition.

Can you think of a time you had a gut feeling and didn’t go with it? It didn’t turn out good, did it?

That is what I am trying to convey to you. Your inner feelings (gut feeling, intuition, etc.) are the ones you have to follow if you want to follow your dreams and live happily.

Sound good? Well, now I want to help you to let your inner voice come out.

Tool Number One……………………….. Fagetabout ‘em.

 There are so many things that influence our thoughts.

The way we were raised has a lot to do with it. We were taught what to value.  But,  guess what? Those values actually aren’t our own!!  See!!!!    We were taught!

Another thing that influences our thoughts is the others in our lives. We want to please them so; we try to do what is expected. We define success based on what “the others”  think.

For example, take the aspiring rock singer. You know the complaint.  “If he would stop worrying about that silly dream and get a real job, he will be fine.”

Are you with me?

 Well,  the aspiring rock singer is doing what he or she feels in his heart. And…………….

Although “the others” see that as a silly dream, he is the one who knows better. He is following his own dream and that is the only way he can achieve happiness.

How about that other story? The one where someone gets a job as an accountant when she secretly  wants to be a dog groomer.  She is NOT “happy people”.

Let’s see what we have so far. There are the values we learned growing up and the values of those around us.  The other thing that influences us is the mainstream value system.

Advertising.   Advertising.   Advertising.

Just yesterday, I read an excellent story on our very own Patch! It was an opinion piece called “Hollister.”

 The author wrote about the high prices of clothing at the “popular stores.” The BIG NAME stores.  She said that when she was young, the best clothes were the clothes that you made! 

My nine year old daughter recently had a birthday party.  Every piece of clothing she got came from Justice.  “Oooh, it’s from Justice,” we said as we opened each gift.   “Ooh, it has rips all up and down the sleeves but it’s from Justice.” 

 Is Justice clothing more valuable that K Mart’s?  Maybe,  maybe not.   It doesn’t matter because we aren’t buying for value. We are buying for status.  The people over at Justice’s pricing division know this. Hence, the mega price tags.

Why do we buy Justice’s overpriced clothing?  Because the media has convinced us that we aren’t “kewl” if we don’t. 

Now, when it comes to children, things can get a bit sticky and that’s another entirely different topic. But, as adults,  let’s start thinking for ourselves!   Let’s wear something because it is OUR style.

So, what does all of this mean?????????????????????

If you want true happiness, follow your own dream.  We are so used to following what others tell us our dream should be that, we might not even realize what our own dream really is.

Sit down and think about it.

What do YOU need to make YOU happy?

Fagetabout ‘em!

I am not saying to not care about others’ feelings.  I am just saying that, in order to find happiness, you have to put yourself first. 

The next time you make a decision, and I mean any type of decision at all, S T O P.  Then ask yourself if you are deciding based on what YOU really feel  or if your decision is based on what “the others” will be happy with.

To make it a tiny bit easier, I am going to share something about myself. 

I am a person who just lives to be fun and creative. Well, when I started writing my blog, I was worried that it would be frowned upon because I like to use made-up words and fragmented sentences.   However, if I write the way I feel “others” expect me to write then,  I will feel stifled.

If I feel stifled, I won’t be happy. If I am not happy, what’s the point?  If you give a mouse a oookie, he will ask for milk. (Great children’s story about cause and effect.)

Sooooooooooooooooooooo, I used “Fagetabout ‘em,” took a deep, cleansing breathe and wrote with my own inner voice.  And, whadyaknow? I feel awesome!!!!!! I am following my very own dream. Writing the way I want to write. Sharing my humor and knowledge with others.  And it feeeeeeels “nice, sugar and spice, den a nent deh na nent.”

Until next time, fagetabout ‘em.

Next time, I will give you another tip for finding the happiness that we can all find within ourselves,  whether or not we drive a super sporty fire red convertible and live in a mansion by the beach.