Cyberbullying, Internet Privacy to be Discussed at Parent Seminar

A Bensalem school psychologist will discuss cyberbullying and Internet privacy issues at a parent workshop on Monday, April 8.

Many of the topics that will be discussed stem from the fact that children often lack maturity and have under developed judgment and impulse control, according to Dr. Gail Karafin, the psychologist at Shafer and Snyder Middle Schools.

For instance, though Karafin said she doesn't think cyberbullying is a recurring problem in Bensalem schools, it happens because "preteens and teens often lack maturity regarding the cause-and-effect of their words." 

"Similar to other forms of aggression, many victims remain silent about electronic bullying out of fear or shame," Karafin said. "Part of the problem is that the bully(s) often feel their antics are cool or funny, and they are not truly intending to hurt another and are not aware of the damage that can occur."

She gave the example of a prank phone call, but mentioned that the difference is that a phony call ends when the phone is hung up, but digital material can last forever on the Internet. 

The life of online content raises another issue that Karafin will discuss. Children often comment, post photos and have online interactions without realizing that it may stay on the Internet forever.

Karafin said that she has counseled students who have posted inappropriate material on the Internet. She asks the students to imagine that they are 30 years old and the New York Times ran the inappropriate e-mails and photos on their front page.

"How would this affect you? How would this affect your family?" she asks them. "We talk about [how] the transmission is never 'deleted.' "

Children often act on impulse, she said, so she tries to encourage students to think about their decisions a little longer.

"I tell students not to hit the send button until they sleep on it and decide it is appropriate enough for their parents and teachers to view," Karafin said.

Another topic that will be covered at the workshop is how to regulate a child's use of social media, computer games, Internet browsing, texting and cell phone use.

Karafin said that she doesn't think there is a rule that fits all families when it comes to regulating this kind of activity, but that children need to learn how to balance responsibility with play. She added that many children need clear boundaries and structure set by parents to be able to establish good habits.

"In any event, once a child has access to electronic items, the rule must be that the parents have their passwords and have the right to randomly check their activities in order to protect them from potential harm," she said. "This can become touchy as the child is seeking greater independence and privacy. A good parent-child relationship is important here when dealing with this potential conflict."

Parents can set a time limit on a daily basis for electronic use or require the earning of electric use after homework and chores have been completed, but Karafin said it's a good idea to allow the child to earn fewer restrictions and limitations when he or she proves to be responsible. And in the same regard, a parent has the right to increase surveillance as a consequence if the child makes a poor choice.

Karafin will discuss all of these issues and more with parents at the workshop and offer tips and suggestions to help ensure children are being responsible in the digital age. Contact Karafin with questions or concerns or for more information at gkarafin@bensalemsd.org.

The event will be held at the Bensalem Township School District building at 3000 Donallen Dr.